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untitled pt i

from chamberstick by to julian

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about

feeling desolate and forgotten as a child, and grasping what it means now looking back.

lyrics

it's been
so long
since i've seen
my mom

and all the years
of rainfall
where has
your boy gone

scream me out
of your bedroom
mama why
do you smoke?

i'm always on my own
my little shadow box
never fed
forever's spent

bathe in your sins
but you'll never feel clean
soak up the sheets
fabled childhood fantasy
tried to forgive you
but inside it's still due
bound like a bible
all that guilt inside you

i've been thinking this over;
did it hurt back then like it does right now?
and concealed down to the bones
the only skin my mom knows are the bits left cold
despite the monsoon,
the white dove's wings are bloodied maroon
where have you been?
the distance we feel is the only thing that's real

credits

from chamberstick, released June 29, 2019

license

all rights reserved

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about

to julian image

to julian Raleigh, North Carolina

heart echo <3

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